Tuesday, 31 October 2017

Hello Blog!

Seriously, it's been a while. I got an email the other day from my web hosting provider letting me know that I need to renew my plan. I didn't even think twice but paid it as soon as I can. Only afterwards I thought to myself, "but I haven't updated in ages, do I really want to use this?". Anyhow, this is why I decided to update.
It's crazy how hard to keep maintenance of blog these days thanks to Instagram and Snapchat (and other social networking sites). It just doesn't make sense to blog anymore.

I think the main reason I stopped blogging is that after my break up with my last ex, I just got paranoid about my privacy and kept to myself. I even changed instagram accounts. It's only been four months since my last post but I feel tons have changed about me. Looking back, I do know I've grown so much. I still have the same struggles but I have direction now, and tbh, having direction is the best re-start I could ever ask.

Past four months, a lot of good and bad things have happened and I look back every time, trying to grasp and absorb whatever I can learn from those experiences. There is no denying though that my ex breaking up with me has triggered the biggest growth I've had in my life. The only reason I can say this without any reservation is that I feel grateful for everything.

I'm currently undergoing changes and adjustments. One of the adjustments I'm really struggling with is to accept how I look. I've been taking selfies since I was in high school and from there I have taught myself which features about myself I like, which ones I don't. Anyway, because of how long it's been, my perception of myself has been warped. I brainwashed myself that how I look on social media is how I actually look in real life, which is on face value, not true. I've always known that I don't look like my pictures online, but I think I have underestimated how different I actually look? Haha. The hardest part as well is that if I post a selfie that's faithful in real life, I am scared that my followers are going to be shocked how toned down and what a plain jane I really am. Looking deeply, it's all rooted on my ego. Anyway, so that's one of the things I'm working on about myself. Accepting my face.

I have so much topics to discuss, so much to catch up on. I'm ready to pour my heart out but I don't want to do it on a huge wall of text. Let's catch up again soon!

To remind myself of some topics:

  • The Tinder phase
  • Getting into corseting/waist training
  • Finding Sikhi
  • Getting back into hobbies (drawing and multimedia in general)
  • Pets update

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